Second semester is certainly a nightmare. It is all about sacrification. You give and get another new things. Trying to adapt to this kind of life. Is not trying but really trying hard. Felt suffocated that I cant be the own self like what i wanted.
This is the lesson to be endured for one to growth up. Yet, the lesson is just too much. There is no air to breath and life were upside down once again. Believe or not i guess i lost many stuff this short period of time. I lost my stuff (crazy), i lost some of the friend and i lost the trust.
I have done whatever i have to do but at a certain time, i just hope that will give me a minute and let everything be clear. The selfish me tend to ignore some of them, i knew that yet i cant find anyway to compensate that. Just can hope that time will make them forget. After all, it took years for us to be this close, it took ages for one to find a real friend in life.
I have been acting childish all this while. I knew this is not easy to be tolerate. Yet, it took time for me to really adapting to the serious world. Something that i dont wish to be in. With the reality that hold on, this is just too much.
Architecture. IS this what i really want? A life of architecture kill many of my other interest. Things are not the same anymore. I lost myself somehow in the middle. Watching everyone here everyday and night. They became the pal of me and architecture.
I need a break for real. There is too much bad happening recently. Not those i wanted but those keep on happen to kill me. I am living in a world of my own for now. It is not easy for anyone to enter anymore. If last time was hard, now it turn impossible. Blog were my way to express this again. A copy that i might laugh back in the future.
MUM and DAD went vacation. After so long, they finally step out for their pleasure. Hope they will enjoy it more. And sorry again for being so mean all the while.
CHAOS
